A Story About my Mom

There is a quick story I want to share about my mom when my dad was deployed.

First you have to understand that my parents have been married over 50 years. Even as I write that it seems improbable, but, yes just a few summers ago we celebrated their 50th wedding anniversary. Amazing.
At this stage of the game and certainly for several years they have a deeply intertwined relationship.  On the surface it may seem like my mom would never make a move with out my dad.  They do fall in to traditional roles, and that works for them.

In 1990 my dad was deployed, just my younger brother, David was still home with our mom. David was a junior or senior in high school, he already had his drivers license and his first job.  One afternoon he was driving home and just one block from the house he was in a car accident.  He was not even injured, but the car was totaled.  I wish I could remember the details, but I can't remember if he was rear ended or t-boned or what.  Some how, the other car came over the hill too fast and ran right in to him.

Instead of letting an incident like this totally overwhelm my mom, she really rose to the occasion.  Maybe I am not giving her enough credit, but lets face it, since she has been with my dad, or any time in her life for that matter, I would be really surprised if she had ever bought a car on her own.

She didn't just sit back and say, we can work this out with one car.  She respected my brother's schedule and her own.  After holding her own with the insurance company she went out, did her comparison shopping and bought a used Datsun.  I remember being so impressed with her.

It wasn't just the new car purchase that got me, it was the way she got so fired up about the injustice done to my brother in this accident.  There was not a moment when any fault or blame was laid against my brother, the young driver.  Our mom was up in arms about the carelessness of the other driver and she really stood up for David. Maybe for the first time. (I cannot explain in one blog post why that was so significant.)  She created something that no one expected.  When teen age boys are likely butt heads with their parents, without my dad as a buffer or to be there to lay down the law, she built a foundation of trust with David and had her own relationship with him.